ENGLISH - THE FUNNIEST LANGUAGE

ENGLISH
THE FUNNIEST LANGUAGE
We will begin with BOX and the plural is BOXES
But the plural of OX should be OXEN and not OXES.
Then one fowl is GOOSE but two are GEESE
Yet the plural of MOUSE should never be MEESE.
You may find a lone MOUSE or a whole set of MICE
But the plural of HOUSE is HOUSES not HICE.
If the plural of MAN be always MEN
Why shouldn’t the plural of PAN be PEN?
If I speak of a FOOT and then you show me your FEET
And I give you a BOOT, would a pair be called BEET?
If one is TOOTH, and a whole set is TEETH
Why should not the plural of BOOTH be BEETH?
Then one may be THAT and three may be THOSE
Yet HAT in the plural would never be HOSE
And the plural of CAT is CATS not COSE.
We speak of a BROTHER and also a BRETHREN
But alothough we say MOTHER we never say MOTHREN.
Then the masculine pronouns are HE, HIS and HIM
But imagine the feminine SHE, SHIS and SHIM.
So, English, I fancy, you will agree, is the
FUNNIEST LANGUAGE you ever did see!
- Leo Angela Rupert

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